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About Me

Hi, I'm Lanae

My goal is to help you uncover your desires and figure out how to ask for what you want.Those of us who can do it in the bedroom are better at doing it in life.

LET'S TALK

Hi, I'm Lanae

My work with you is helping you uncover your desires and figure out how to ask for what you want. Those of us who can do it in the bedroom are better at doing it in life.

Affiliations

american college of sexologists logo
society for the scientific study of sexuality logo
somatica institute logo
american association of sexuality educators, counselors, therapists logo
world association of sex coaches logo
international society for the study of women's sexual health logo
sex coach u logo
American Board of Sexology logo
National Coalition for Sexual Freedom logo
sex ed network logo
Read more on LinkedIn >

People want to know about sex

Probably because we are all affected by it in some way.

 

The advice I share on social sites like Quora has generated MILLIONS (and yes, sometimes I have to pinch myself when I say it!) OF VIEWS so I know this for certain...if you have questions about sex, you are NOT alone . 

Click here for the Top 5 Topics I get asked about AND get access to my searchable "...Asking For A Friend" Q&A database -- only available for subscribers.

To the Top 5 Topics
quora views for Lanae St.John, the mamasutra

But talking about sex is tricky...

Isn't it? I mean...

 

It’s one thing to say, “I want the large iced coffee” or “I want a raise,”and another to say, “I want you to pull my hair.”

But wait—are you a parent? You might be thinking, “Umm, I wanted to know how to talk to my kid about sex, not how to ask someone to pull my hair… yet.”

Well, I’m here to help with both. Because they’re not really separate. Get this:

If you can’t talk to your partner about sex, you probably can't talk to your kids about it either.

I help adults struggling with how to talk to their kids about sexuality. They learn how to educate themselves so they can let go of their fear and connect more deeply with themselves, their partners, and their children.

“But I know everything there is to know about sex."

I hear that – mostly from men. My reply is: “Would your partner agree?”

 

Heterosexual women have fewer orgasms than men or lesbian or bisexual women*

And this tragedy is preventable. How? With education.

If you got sex ed, it was probably during middle-school or high-school. Have you had any formal education since?

I specialize in Sex Ed for Grownups.

Some people seek out golf pros to up their game. Some people work with financial advisors to help plan their financial future. I’m like a sexual fiduciary*, acting in your best interest to help you improve your sex portfolio.

My background was “don’t ask, don’t do”

I grew up Catholic, Conservative, and in the Midwest.

 

I’ve lived the secrecy, embarrassment, and shame around sex. I was a “virgin” in college until one night when I got drunk and was sexually assaulted.

Because all of the messages around me while I was growing up centered on “preserving and protecting my virginity” I felt my value was gone, so I made some shitty dating and sex decisions for a while.

Alcohol fueled lots of those moments too. I was a hot mess. Fast forward 11 years. I was married and living as a new mom in Germany. I noticed people didn’t have the same attitude about sex that Americans do.

From this, I realized things could be different for my kids.

When I moved back to the states and put my kids in school, I had the chance to go back to school to study sexuality.

I love talking to people about sex.

You almost have to tell me to shut up about it.

 

You probably would if you weren’t so fascinated as well. My enthusiasm has that effect on people.

I am a Certified Sexologist in the Bay Area and I coach adults about basic human sexuality.

Lots of adults from many different backgrounds.

The side effects of working with me include:

  • feeling confident and empowered to give directions to a partner during sex(without feeling bad about it)

  • understanding the importance of pleasing your partner (aka “she comes first”, guys)

  • knowing how to communicate your STI status

  • being excited to share all that you’ve learned with everyone who will listen

So. What do YOU want to know?

LET'S TALK

Fun Facts About Lanae

I didn't always do sex education for grownups

01.

I almost didn’t study human sexuality. 
At that point in the decision tree of my life, I thought about going back to school for electrical engineering since I’ve been a “gadget girl“ for a big part of my adult life.

02.

I was a practicing Catholic until my divorce.
My daughters and I were treated like pariahs one Easter Sunday. We were new to that parish and did not feel very welcome.

03.

I used to think that all porn was degrading to women.
That perspective changed when I went to grad school and met and became friends with some porn performers and sex workers.

Grab something now

Can't wait to begin? Click one of these blocks to learn more so you can begin your journey toward shared intimacy, deeper connections, and empowered and embodied freedom!

Sex Life Reset with "Yes-No-Maybe"

Looking for something to spice up your sex life? Is your sex life in need of a reset? Do you feel like you and your partner have lost that spark? Check out this fantastic Sex Life Reset with "Yes-No-Maybe"! This is the perfect way to get you and your partner curious about sex again. It's easy, simply answer some questions independently and then follow the instructions to compare your responses. You'll end up with a menu of options for yourselves! So what are you waiting for? Let's RESET your sex life today!

$97.00 USD
Discovery Call

Been having sex but just not enjoying it? Uncomfortable saying what you want because you don't want to hurt their feelings? Tired of doing the same old-same old? Have you lost all desire for sex? Does one of you want it more than the other?  People come to me with these and many other very personal situations. Let's schedule a virtual coffee date to talk about yours.

$50.00 USD
ED Concerns - 12 Tips

If your partner struggles with erectile dysfunction, this helpful guide gives you twelve tips for supporting them and making sure your relationship stays strong. From communication tips to ways to make sex more enjoyable for both of you, this guide has everything you need to know about how to handle ED in a partnership. You'll move from cautious to confident with "12 Tips for When Your Partner Has Erectile Concerns" It's an invaluable resource for anyone affected by ED.

$27.00 USD