The Essential Guide to Having "The Talk" with Your Kids

mom & kids.

Get help preparing for "the talk" with your kids.

Help your kids feel comfortable coming to you with any questions they have.

Help them grow into confident, healthy adults.


Buy READ ME: A Parental Primer for "The Talk"

The Five Building Blocks To Having “The Talk” With Your Kids

In READ ME: A Parental Primer for "The Talk", you’ll uncover how a historically awkward conversation about "the birds and the bees" can be easy to navigate… it doesn’t have to be weird or embarrassing.

In this book, you’ll uncover how a historically awkward conversation about "the birds and the bees" can be easy to navigate… it doesn’t have to be weird or embarrassing.With easy access to misinformation, your role as a parent is more important than ever. Discover how to be honest and open with your kids about their bodies, setting boundaries and more.

After reading this, you’ll know how to create a warm and nonjudgmental environment… free of guilt, shame and taboos.

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"St. John offers a cogent, warm, and good-humored guide for parents preparing for the inevitable talk with their children about sex and sexuality."

Critic's Report
The BookLife Prize

"The author strikes a balance between an assuring, casual tone, with one more informational and instructive. She relates to parents' uncertainties by sharing her own experiences speaking to her children about sex. She speaks candidly about how to navigate topics relating to pleasure, consent, and societal notions about virginity, among many other topics."

Critic's Report
The BookLife Prize

"St. John wisely approaches the topic of the 'the sex talk' with the understanding that parents often need an education, too. Her work is sensitive, progressive, and highly readable."

Critic's Report
The BookLife Prize

"This nuanced guide supplies parents with valuable factual information about human development and sexuality, along with genuine advice for parents to address their own ingrained anxieties, misconceptions, and possible biases."

Critic's Report
The BookLife Prize

This is not a book for you to read with your kids or give to them to read.

READ ME: A Parental Primer for "The Talk" a book for you… the parent or guardian, to get comfortable talking to your kids so you can raise emotionally mature adults.

Because, let’s be honest, knowing when to start this conversation is the hardest part…

… you don’t want your kids to know more than they need to. But what do they need to know and by when?

In this book, you’ll learn how to ease into the conversations… because it’s not just one talk and then it’s over.

It’s an on-going conversation… and you’ll discover that kids aren’t freaked out about “the talk” the way many adults are.

In fact...

… they’re often curious about something and as soon as they have an answer they’re ready to move on for a while.

This book is the first of it’s kind… full of real-life conversations and anecdotes from the author’s life.

If you don’t want to leave it up to your kids to find their own answers… answers full of myths and weird stories that are confusing…

Then this is the last book you’ll need…

"This is a strangely radical and yet incredibly logical book. It is radical because it is counter to everything we are socially conditioned to think about sex and intimacy, and logical because the underlying message is about accepting and embracing a central component of human nature. It is refreshing for someone to articulate how parents shape their kids feelings about bodies and desires. It is not just media exposure or religious ideologies that can ingrain powerful messages about sex. Intimacy and sex are part of being human, and yet it is strangely taboo to actually discuss sex in the context of personal experiences and feelings. For parents and non-parents alike, this book helps highlight our own beliefs and feelings about sex, which then impacts how we communicate with others, including our children. "

K. K.
San Francisco

"I wasn’t going to buy this book thinking that since I have a toddler I still had time before we had to talk about “The Talk”. Boy, was I wrong! After reading, I saw the importance of starting to teach consent and boundaries since a young age. I feel that I am now prepared to guide my son through it by having small yet powerful conversations setting the groundwork for his teenage years. If you have kids, you need to get this book!!! Highly recommend it."

"Boogie" via
San Francisco

"At first I was sad this book hadn’t come out years ago as my kids are teens already, but I decided to read it anyway...and it paid off immediately. Just reading Dr St. John’s sensible approach to sexuality and communication made me feel more chill. So when my 17 year old came home today and wanted to talk about something that had happened at school, that dealt with sexuality, I was able to be the parent I want to be: the one they can talk to. I always try, but today I had less of my inbuilt programming to fight through than normal. What a relief!"

Parent of Teens

"Raising a young man is a most rewarding adventure and as a mother I have been most committed to find approaches to make him feel good in his skin regarding whatever topic may come up and his sexuality is probably the most basic and obvious of them all: his own emerging sexuality The further I am getting into the book, the more I am convinced that it is One Resource that will support our approach. "

"B.B." via
San Francisco

Here's just some of what you'll find inside your copy of READ ME......

  • Why you shouldn’t rely on anyone else to talk to your children… even in two-parent homes and a curriculum at school. Page 16
  • Discover how a healthy body image plays a role in self-respect and self-love… and how this affects your child’s treatment of others.  Page 85
  • “The Talk” is more than just identifying anatomical body parts and knowing what goes where… it includes emotional and relationship needs. Page 25
  • Find out why Google is not a good option for your child to find information on their own… but when planned properly, can be a useful tool. Page 141
  • How to effectively help your children recognize, identify, and most importantly, communicate what they are feeling. Page 47
  • Let your child know it's okay to have fantasies... and that they don't all have to be acted upon or fulfilled. Page 125
  • Why it’s so important to use the medical names for body parts when children are infants and toddlers. Page 54

REAL LIFE STORIES AND STUDIES… throughout the book.

  • How you can teach your child to set and exert HEALTHY BOUNDARIES that follow them into adulthood… and accept other people’s boundaries. Page 69
  • Find out what to share with your kids and at what age… because they don’t come with an instruction manual. Page 19
  • Teach your child how to recognize passive from active consent… because there’s a difference and they’re both important.  Page 78
  • How to differentiate between healthy touch like a comforting hug from unwanted, and inappropriate, advances. Page 106
  • You are the BEST resource for your children to model morals, personal motivations, and ethics. Page 34
  • Discover why fear-based education doesn’t work… often has the opposite effect… and how to ensure your children feel normal and validated. Page 147

… and much MUCH MORE!

"Impressively informative and 'real world practical' in scope, organization and presentation, "Read Me: A Parental Primer for "The Talk" is an ideal, effective, and thoroughly 'user friendly' instruction guide and manual for parent-child discussions about sex and human relationships appropriate to every age of childhood."

Midwest Book Review
August 2019

"“... Dr. Lanae presents a path for parents to follow her sage advice, resulting in smarter, healthier and sexually (and emotionally) sophisticated adults from homes that thrive in sexual openness, accurate information and holistic wellness. <...> I highly recommend this book as a necessary ingredient for raising happy, healthy children of all ages.”"

Patti Britton, PhD
Sexologist, Sexuality Educator, and Co-Founder of, the world’s premier sex coach training and certification program

"The author challenges readers to think about sex and relationships from multiple perspectives and is thoughtful in sharing anecdotes, research and specific suggestions. This really is a "train-the-trainer" approach and I'm certain that it will help parents at all stages reframe the way we approach "the talk". Sex can be an awkward topic and this text can help to increase your knowledge, comfort and confidence when it comes to talking (and listening) to your kids. "

Jessica O'Reilly
Sexologist, PhD

"As a Clinical Sexologist I am always in search of current materials to help parents, therapists and teachers develop a broader vocabulary for discussing our bodies, desires, relationships, intimacy and sex with kids of all ages. Having an honest and trusted adult who they can get up to date and non biased information from is critical. I love how Dr. St. John emphasizes this is always best if the parent can provide that for their children while developing a safe place to get their most difficult questions answered without judgment or shame. Dr. St. John provides a clear, step by step and age appropriate path for these conversations. [...]"

Nancy D. Sutton-Pierce
Clinical Sexologist

Picture of Dr. Lanae St.John. About Lanae St. John

Hi, I’m Lanae St.John. A board-certified sexologist, certified sex coach, and mother to two teenaged daughters.

Parenting can be tough at times, and if you’re like me, you’re worried about messing up your kids.

As a child and young adult, important information was withheld from me. And because of this, my confidence and decision-making suffered.

I made the decision that I didn’t want my daughters to be left in the dark, too…

… and I’ve found that being open and honest about this topic with my girls has given them a level of comfort, confidence and security that I never had. And it’s opened up the doors for communication going both ways.

It’s why I wrote READ ME: A Parental Primer for "The Talk".

In it, I combine education and entertainment (why not keep it light-hearted when possible), using The Five Building Blocks To A Healthy Sexuality to help you move past the awkwardness of talking to your kids about “stuff”.

As both student and teacher, I hope my experiences will help you to feel comfortable communicating with your kids in a way that feels good for you.

Here’s to raising healthy, happy, confident kids




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