About Me

Hi, I'm Lanae

My goal is to help you uncover your desires and figure out how to ask for what you want.Those of us who can do it in the bedroom are better at doing it in life.


Hi, I'm Lanae

My work with you is helping you uncover your desires and figure out how to ask for what you want. Those of us who can do it in the bedroom are better at doing it in life.


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People want to know about sex

Probably because we are all affected by it in some way.


The advice I share on social sites like Quora has generated MILLIONS (and yes, sometimes I have to pinch myself when I say it!) OF VIEWS so I know this for certain...if you have questions about sex, you are NOT alone . 

Click here for the Top 5 Topics I get asked about AND get access to my searchable "...Asking For A Friend" Q&A database -- only available for subscribers.

To the Top 5 Topics

But talking about sex is tricky...

Isn't it? I mean...


It’s one thing to say, “I want the large iced coffee” or “I want a raise,”and another to say, “I want you to pull my hair.”

But wait—are you a parent? You might be thinking, “Umm, I wanted to know how to talk to my kid about sex, not how to ask someone to pull my hair… yet.”

Well, I’m here to help with both. Because they’re not really separate. Get this:

If you can’t talk to your partner about sex, you probably can't talk to your kids about it either.

I help adults struggling with how to talk to their kids about sexuality. They learn how to educate themselves so they can let go of their fear and connect more deeply with themselves, their partners, and their children.

“But I know everything there is to know about sex."

I hear that – mostly from men. My reply is: “Would your partner agree?”


Heterosexual women have fewer orgasms than men or lesbian or bisexual women*

And this tragedy is preventable. How? With education.

If you got sex ed, it was probably during middle-school or high-school. Have you had any formal education since?

I specialize in Sex Ed for Grownups.

Some people seek out golf pros to up their game. Some people work with financial advisors to help plan their financial future. I’m like a sexual fiduciary*, acting in your best interest to help you improve your sex portfolio.

My background was “don’t ask, don’t do”

I grew up Catholic, Conservative, and in the Midwest.


I’ve lived the secrecy, embarrassment, and shame around sex. I was a “virgin” in college until one night when I got drunk and was sexually assaulted.

Because all of the messages around me while I was growing up centered on “preserving and protecting my virginity” I felt my value was gone, so I made some shitty dating and sex decisions for a while.

Alcohol fueled lots of those moments too. I was a hot mess. Fast forward 11 years. I was married and living as a new mom in Germany. I noticed people didn’t have the same attitude about sex that Americans do.

From this, I realized things could be different for my kids.

When I moved back to the states and put my kids in school, I had the chance to go back to school to study sexuality.

I love talking to people about sex.

You almost have to tell me to shut up about it.


You probably would if you weren’t so fascinated as well. My enthusiasm has that effect on people.

I am a Certified Sexologist in the Bay Area and I coach adults about basic human sexuality.

Lots of adults from many different backgrounds.

The side effects of working with me include:
  • feeling confident and empowered to give directions to a partner during sex(without feeling bad about it)

  • understanding the importance of pleasing your partner (aka “she comes first”, guys)

  • knowing how to communicate your STI status

  • being excited to share all that you’ve learned with everyone who will listen

So. What do YOU want to know?


Fun Facts About Lanae

I didn't always do sex education for grownups


I almost didn’t study human sexuality. 
At that point in the decision tree of my life, I thought about going back to school for electrical engineering since I’ve been a “gadget girl“ for a big part of my adult life.


I was a practicing Catholic until my divorce.
My daughters and I were treated like pariahs one Easter Sunday. We were new to that parish and did not feel very welcome.


I used to think that all porn was degrading to women.
That perspective changed when I went to grad school and met and became friends with some porn performers and sex workers.

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Can't wait to begin? Click one of these blocks to learn more so you can begin your journey toward shared intimacy, deeper connections, and empowered and embodied freedom!